How to be FAIR & NICE even while Fighting with your spouse?
- Why are you really upset about? Is it the bread that he/she had to buy, and it was not done or its the frustration of having to do everything by yourself? Make sure you know what you are arguing about. Be clear in what you are saying, if not the argument can go all over the place.
2. One issue at a time! Discussing one issue can move to talking about all the years in the past that the person has done wrong. Again that will lead nowhere.
3. Degrading language will just hurt your partner. Instead of the action being discussed, we will be name – calling. swearing. Nothing positive will come out of that.
4. ‘I’ statements. Take responsibility of what you are feeling. I feel angry when you do not help me out while doing the dishes, I feel anxious when you do not come back home early. When we take responsibility, we stay away from blaming the other person.
5. Screaming & Shouting will just increase the volume. It would not solve any problems.
6. Do not walk away from problems. When you choose to stay quiet and lock yourself up, you are not bringing a closure to your problems.
7. The most important point. Find a middle ground. No two people are the same. There will be problems. Love will get you to middle ground. That will keep your relationship healthy.
Good luck! Do leave us your comments if you do have some interesting rules to share with us!