I did not succeed, I am a BIG FAT failure…
Yes, this is what we keep telling ourselves all the time. What happens after that ? We play this one sentence in our minds like how we play our favourite song again & again. Can you imagine, what this could do to us?
It becomes our reality!
We believe that if we do not succeed, We are a total failure. If our marriage was not successful once, it will never be. If we do not get a few dance moves right, we will never be able to learn dancing. If we scream at our child, we will not be a good parent. If we got rejected in our interview, we are not good enough.
All the above thoughts indicate that we are a victims of “All or Nothing thinking”. This is also called Black or White thinking. With this unhelpful thinking pattern, we are unable to see shades of grey that eventually leads to feeling Depressed.
To make sure we do not travel that path, we have to include certain shades of grey in our lives.
I may not have nailed this interview, I can definitely know how to prepare for the next one. I do get angry sometimes, but that does not make me a bad human being. I have had a long break in my career, but that does not stop me from exploring different fields.
Altering our thoughts a bit, brings about a sea change in how we feel about ourselves. Thoughts are the seeds to what we will become.
Help yourself by trying to tweak your thoughts a bit. You will be a witness to a massive change in your mood & you will see how people are attracted towards you because of how you see your life!
This is just one of the many unhelpful thinking styles, stay tuned to my other parts , that will help you identify which thinking style you tilt towards & what you could do about it.
Until then, monitor your thoughts, are you an All or nothing thinker?