Find out how your style of parenting will affect your child
How to celebrate Valentines day?
Valentines- No big deal!? Listening to that quite often?
Let me share something with you!
I, consciously wanted to know what people think about ‘Valentines Day.’ I was amazed to not having found many people who were excited about it, especially ‘COUPLES.’ What they tell me is that you do not need a special day to tell someone how much you love them. That is true! My husband tells me that he loves me everyday. He does not reserve it for VALENTINES DAY & I love it. Makes me feel special everyday.
But, that does not take away from the excitement of VALENTINES DAY for me & I am sure there are others who also would agree to what I have to say..
If I have to give my opinion, I love the concept of these SPECIAL days. I think it gives me a reason to celebrate and acknowledge the other person presence in my life. Even if your partner does not give it as much importance as you do. Well, it does not matter. YOU do not have to ‘Judge’ him because he does not believe in it.
You know why? Because no two people are the same. People express differently. Sometimes, we have our spouses/partners who do small things for us & that is very thoughtful. It may not necessarily be on VALENTINES DAY!
P.S – You do not have to stop believing in something if the other person does not give it importance. NOR do you have to be upset about it. You can still make this day special by gifting yourself something you always wanted to own. Why lose out on a ‘Beautiful Present.’ Right?!
Does it make sense? So, this Valentines day, if you believe in it, get up & make yourself feel special. You deserve it.
Happy Valentines!
Do you think you have Postpartum Depression?
Finding It Difficult To Deal With The Change?
Motherhood is not easy. It is a challenge. Each year approximately 950,000 women are suffering postpartum depression.
It is ok to not be in the best of moods all the time. It is ok to not be perfect at all times. Being a Mother is a roller coaster of emotions. Nevertheless, what we need to be aware of is the term ‘Postpartum Depression’ that some woman go through during the first few years of Motherhood. It is important to be aware of what the symptoms are for the well being of the child and the mother.
How do I know If I am going through PostPartum Depression?
We need to understand that we are not ‘SUPER WOMEN’
SO.. Ask for HELP!
If you identify with any of the above symptoms & feel that you are not able to snap out. Please get in touch with a Professional NOW.
OR
Email me @ zainablehry@gmail.com or call me @ +647 939 1730.
Girls Feeling down? Your Girlfriends can be your best choice!
Friends can be so important in life!
One of the Psychiatrists at Stanford University was talking about Mind – body connection, where he mentioned that the best thing a man can do for his health is to be married to a woman, where as what a woman can do for her well being is to nurture her relationship with her girlfriends.
How interesting is that!
So ladies…
GirlFriend time, helps in increasing the Serotonin – a Neurotransmitter that helps combat Depression and can create a general feeling of well being!
Call your Girlfriends today!
Marriage! Relationships! Can get complicated..
“I care more about being close to you than I do about winning this argument.”
I happened to come across these beautiful lines today & I had to share them with you. I have always been this one person who has been fascinated by Relationships. May be that is exactly why I specialize in Marriage & Family Counselling.
Relationships, is the only SUBJECT, that absorbs me & I can have unlimited conversations about it. People often ask me, are you not curious about anything else? & I quite bravely say NO. It does not bother me that nothing else interest me as much as much as Relationships do.
Respect
Being in practice for years now, I have come to realize that “Respect” is the key to healthy Relationships. You come together because you love & care for each other immensely, but that gets lost along the way.
Where does it go? What takes away the love that you once had for your spouse or partner? Where does the care vanish? Why is it that you engage is more frequent fights than healthy discussions.
Does competition seep in? You start playing the TIT for TAT game? Is it about winning the argument all the time & proving that you are right?
Quick Tip For You Guys!
Say this to your loved one, when you know things are going out of hand. ‘I care more about being close to you, than winning this argument.’ You will see how instantly you will change the emotion that you and your spouse had for each other a couple of minutes back. When you tell your spouse that you care more for him/her, you are automatically giving him/her priority over everything else. You are telling them how much your love for them is unconditional. You are telling them that they are more important to you than this silly argument.
Life is too short to sail in negativity! Start now. Start today.
I would love to hear your experiences. Do share and comment below. You could be motivating someone else to work through their relationship.
Confuse Your Brain & Feel Good
My Vanity Kit!
Problems are everywhere. There is no running away from them. So might as well let them be. Instead of worrying & thinking about them all the time. Lets do something different. You deserve to feel good!
To be honest, for almost a week I found myself just lost. I think a part of me was missing home, I did find myself slipping into a zone of unhealthy thinking patterns. Did not want to engage in conversations, stopped exercising, eating all junk, asking myself a lot of questions, which I had no answers to. Sometimes staring into space. Just too many things happening around.
I hated to be in a situation where I had no control over my thoughts. But what can you do, when you are in it. We just see no reality! I am sure we all agree with that. Even talking just does not help.
I did something very simple, which instantly got me out of that miserable zone. You know what I did?
I CONFUSED my brain.
I just started to Dress Up every single day. From taking a long bath, to applying lotions, to wearing my best outfit, to wearing make up, putting on good fragrances, to well polished footwear, just everything. I was all dolled up & that gave me a liberated feeling, which I am unable to describe. You just need to feel it.
You know this did the trick for me. If you feel the same like I did. Try this ! I promise this will help you to get back to a space where you can start functioning normally again. That was a quick tip for today. Stay happy.
How Can Parents Nurture Independent Individuals
Autonomy versus Shame & Doubt(2-3 yrs)
In my last blog, I spoke about Trust vs Mistrust, that is the 1st stage of Erik Erikson’s theory of Psychosocial development, As promised, we are now moving on to the 2nd stage, that is Autonomy vs Shame & Doubt (2-3 yrs), which will be very useful & informative for mothers who are noticing that their child is becoming independent and having their own preferences & choices now.
This stage is significantly very important because
- they will now start to explore the world around him/her
- they will begin to walk away from their parents
- they will start making their choices in terms of what to eat,
- they will select what to wear,
- they would prefer certain toys to play with
- they will also master toilet training
Hear me out Parents:
This stage is just not important for children, parents share equal responsibility in allowing their child to experience independence. The major role that parents play here is that of an encourager, who will motivate their child to do things by themselves. When you allow your child to take his/her decisions, they will experience a sense of achievement, which will eventually lead to independence. Therefore you contribute towards healthy independent individuals
But
If parents discourage, over protect, constantly criticize, then children will not be able to explore freely. They will feel embarrassed to try anything by themselves, as they were not allowed to do so in the past or were constantly nagged for making their own choices.
Toilet training
This is also the time, where your child will be ready to get toilet trained. Parents, you need to understand that your child is learning, it will take time for him/her to master it.
- Patience & consistency is the key
- You always use words or sentences that are encouraging – Good Job, I am so Proud of you, It is ok, No problem, We will work together, We will try again..
- You make sure that you do not use words that will hurt the child – What is wrong with you, Look at the other kids?, You get me really tired, Look, what have you done again, I have to clean the mess all the time, I can’t take care of you anymore, You are getting me very angry
Parents! I am very proud of you. If you are here, reading this, I am sure you are a great parent.
You are willing to learn.
Good Luck to you!
If you do need to talk to a professional regarding your child call us @ +647 939 1730 or email us at zainablehry@gmail.com.
Will be happy to help you!
How Do You Get Your Baby To Trust You?
How can you help your baby to feel safe with you & around others?
Erik Erikson an influential Psychologist, spoke about 8 stages of Psychosocial Development. His first few stages is a great read for new mothers as they talk about child’s psychological development.
I am here to help you learn more about the first stage, Trust vs Mistrust, where you will understand how your consistent presence as a caregiver will help your child trust the world around him/her.
Your baby either learns to Trust or Mistrust, depending upon your Consistency or Inconsistency in your care.
I am here, You can trust me
When you provide your baby with:
- Constant touch
- Eye contact
- Meet your child’s needs almost immediately
- Smile at them
- Talk to them
- Pick them up when they cry
- Be there for them, when they need you
Your actions tell them that, ‘You are safe with me.’ This eventually builds the virtue of ‘Hope’ in your child. They begin to feel that they can trust you and they grow up to trust people around them too.
Inconsistent Caregiving will lead to Mistrust
When your child
- Does not receive consistent care,
- You do not pick them up to pacify them,
- Fail to provide warmth
- Do not meet child’s basic needs
- Ignoring their presence
- Being preoccupied in your own thoughts
All the above leads to building frustration in your child, they begin to realize that the warmth & love is not consistent, therefore it is not predictable & reliable. This eventually creates Mistrust.
As they grow up, they will feel that the world is not a safe place to be in. It is undependable, unpredictable. Eventually hampering relationships around them.
As parents, you have a huge role to play in your child’s confidence levels. Your presence can do wonders!
Stay tuned to my next blog on how to talk to your child while you Toilet Training them. This is the second stage of Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial developmental theory. This will give you an insight into how your words as a caregiver matter in shaping your child’s identity.
How to celebrate Valentines alone?
Don’t Worry!
Just moved out of a relationship?
In a relationship, but its complicated?
No time for relationships, but still want to be in one?
Peer Pressure kills you?
Confused between two or more?
Scared to commit?
You like someone, but that person is just not interested?
or may be you would love to celebrate it, but your partner does not give this day any importance?
Whatever the reason it may be…
I am sure its tough to be in any of these positions!
I am not here to tell you what you can do to make sure you are not alone this Valentine’s day, instead I am taking this oppurtunity to help you understand that, HEY! let’s look deeper. 
Today even if I give you 10 things that you can do to make sure loneliness does not hit you, it will not last for too long. Even you know that!
So, what we need to understand is that, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Most of the times, we are upset not because we do not have something, we are actually upset because someone else has it & we don’t. But only they know whether they are happy or NOT? Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
We always feel that the other person’s life is happier & successful.
Social media makes it worse. We get so carried away by the pictures that others upload each day, various status updates that are made so frequently, every relationship status that gets updated, we begin to believe that we are the one’s who are unfortunate & we start feeling insecure about ourselves.
BUT
How do you know that they are happy being in a relationship? Or how do you know that they are happy at all? They might be feeling lonely even while being in a relationship.
Scan your life now, how do you feel now, still miserable? I think its a choice that we make. We can drown in all the negative thought processes or we can create some realistic thoughts which will bring in some happiness in our lives.
Let’s do this together. Let us start building our list of what we are grateful for!
Write down every small thing that brings a smile on your face. Fill your bucket with a list of things, till you get to valentines day, you will be the happiest for what you have in your life.
Well done guys, you have come to the end of the blog & I am sure you will now begin to fill in your gratitude list & I am so proud of you!
Do leave in your comments as to how do you feel filling in your very own”Gratitude Bucket.”
Happy Valentine’s Day to you.
Love yourself, others will love you too.